1. Digital Oxygen's Avatar
    Santa Claus has been arrested under the USA Patriot Act after people reported a heavily bearded man seen flying last night around the rooftops of Washington DC suburban neighbourhoods, 3 miles from the White House.

    He is currently being held at an undisclosed maximum security detention centre somewhere in Washington, until his nationality is verified. Unconfirmed reports suggest, he is being charged for several offences, including: flying an unlicensed craft and without a permit in American airspace, promoting religious fanaticism through festival symbolism, mass hysteria, and bribery of minors. It is believed, he will soon be transferred to Guantanamo Bay for further processing.

    The United States Customs and Border Protection (USCBP) and the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) have also brought charges against Santa Claus.

    USCBP is charging him for evading the importation tax law, by failing to declare goods allegedly claimed as 'gifts'. USDA has referred to the endangered species act and charged him with illegal trafficking of protected animals (reindeer).

    To add more woes to his calamities, The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) are suing him for cruelty to the reindeer by forcing wingless animals to fly.

    The American Psychiatric Association are also claiming for damages for the devastating effect his capture will have on their patients, many of whom are being treated because they believe in the, until now, assumed fictional man. It is believed, this incident will completely wipe out the Psychiatry profession.

    Christmas has been postponed indefinitely.

    Search NAZI
    2007-12-09 05:35 PM
  2. mashom's Avatar
    lol this news is good one man

    i am going to make SANTA costume and steal some gifts specially SDK underwears.
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    2007-12-09 05:40 PM
  3. Napoleon_PhoneApart's Avatar
    Well, Santa shouldn't have been flying around DC before December 24th anyway; he could have used the first half of the month to prepare and file a flight plan of exception for DC and/or asked for a fighter escort from Andrews AFB.

    A little forethought, Santa!
    2007-12-09 05:56 PM
  4. Digital Oxygen's Avatar
    Perhaps, but the neither the 79th Medical Airwing, 89th Airlift Wing nor the The 316th Wing have any birds that could keep up with Santa and his reindeer.
    Search NAZI
    2007-12-09 06:35 PM
  5. MOSHO92's Avatar
    Maybe he forgot to check his iPhone for the weather forecast and lost the advantage of a fog/cloud cover for stealthiness.
    2007-12-09 08:27 PM
  6. Sidetalker's Avatar
    naw dude i read in Wired magazine that he has all sorts of like crazy stuff to not get caught. so dun worry, prolly just a lil fake cover so he can slip by even more undetected
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    2007-12-10 03:33 AM
  7. Napoleon_PhoneApart's Avatar
    Perhaps, but the neither the 79th Medical Airwing, 89th Airlift Wing nor the The 316th Wing have any birds that could keep up with Santa and his reindeer.
    Yeah, but maybe the United States Air Force Band at Bolling could play for Santa as he flies over the area.
    2007-12-10 03:38 AM
  8. Digital Oxygen's Avatar
    Uhhh.. no. The 11th is a parade (more or less) and support wing for crying out loud!



    edit:
    Hah! I just re-read what you said. Amen.
    Search NAZI
    2007-12-10 03:58 AM
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