1. Simon's Avatar
    Ok, I'm back folks, and I will discuss certain features of my new Theme/OS, ORGASM.

    We all know that security is a priority these days. So I have designed a 3-fold security measure to unlock the phone. No more password lock, this is State of Art.

    The first level of security for iPhones/iPads running ORGASM will be a fingerprint scanner. Once the phone or tablet recognizes your fingerprint you will be prompted to perform a retinal scan. And once the retinal scan is completed you will be prompted to complete the DNA scan. Now, the DNA is somewhat unconventional, but times are a changing and we need to go to greater lengths to ensure the safety of our information.

    The DNA scan requires certain 3rd party hardware as well as a Lighting adapter. The 3rd party hardware is affixed to the iPhone or iPad using the Lighting adapter. Once the DNA is secreted, the phone will unlock. As I said, the Fleshlight and the adapter are sold separately. Now I understand that many of you, initially, will be uncomfortable using the penile DNA reader, but I assure you, after several uses it will become standard operating procedure. I will be designing a female version of my DNA reader in coming weeks...

    Stay tuned for more details.
    2013-03-27 02:39 AM
  2. doomsday116's Avatar
    Ok, I'm back folks, and I will discuss certain features of my new Theme/OS, ORGASM.

    We all know that security is a priority these days. So I have designed a 3-fold security measure to unlock the phone. No more password lock, this is State of Art.

    The first level of security for iPhones/iPads running ORGASM will be a fingerprint scanner. Once the phone or tablet recognizes your fingerprint you will be prompted to perform a retinal scan. And once the retinal scan is completed you will be prompted to complete the DNA scan. Now, the DNA is somewhat unconventional, but times are a changing and we need to go to greater lengths to ensure the safety of our information.

    The DNA scan requires certain 3rd party hardware as well as a Lighting adapter. The 3rd party hardware is affixed to the iPhone or iPad using the Lighting adapter. Once the DNA is secreted, the phone will unlock. As I said, the Fleshlight and the adapter are sold separately. Now I understand that many of you, initially, will be uncomfortable using the penile DNA reader, but I assure you, after several uses it will become standard operating procedure. I will be designing a female version of my DNA reader in coming weeks...

    Stay tuned for more details.
    A penile DNA reader??...wow really??...lmfao...

    A penile DNA reader??...wow really??...lmfao...
    Don't stop there, u should create a DNA debit card reader that inserts in your a_s_s to accept payments...lol
    Last edited by doomsday116; 2013-03-27 at 02:45 AM.
    2013-03-27 02:40 AM
  3. 2k1's Avatar
    About to pull the popcorn back out
    2013-03-27 02:52 AM
  4. TeamEdward's Avatar
    Later this evening I will be posting a link to a video which will provide directions on how to properly use the DNA reader. This video is NSFW so please view with caution.

    Stay tuned, folks.
    2013-03-27 03:14 AM
  5. Bo Troxell's Avatar
    Dude...really, 'cause I don't have a penis I'll have to wait to use this theme? Hello, ACLU!!
    2013-03-27 03:19 AM
  6. The_13th_Plague's Avatar
    Dude...really, 'cause I don't have a penis I'll have to wait to use this theme? Hello, ACLU!!
    Rotflmao!!!
    2013-03-27 03:21 AM
  7. Simon's Avatar
    Dude...really, 'cause I don't have a penis I'll have to wait to use this theme? Hello, ACLU!!
    It's down right discriminatory!!
    2013-03-27 03:24 AM
  8. TeamEdward's Avatar
    Dude...really, 'cause I don't have a penis I'll have to wait to use this theme? Hello, ACLU!!
    I do apologize for this. With the penile DNA reader I was able to seamlessly integrate 3rd party hardware. With the female version I will need to design a custom piece. Don't worry though, I have a volunteer crew from the Alpha Chi Omega sorority working 12 hours a day on the new design. It should be ready for the market by the first week of May. Sorry for the delay.
    2013-03-27 03:27 AM
  9. 2k1's Avatar
    Need any beta testers??
    2013-03-27 03:29 AM
  10. TeamEdward's Avatar
    Need any beta testers??
    I haven't been actively seeking beta testers online as I require a waiver to be signed. All beta testing must be documented on video. So it's easier for me to gather my beta testers from my workplace, surrounding colleges and circle of friends. I've also done a great deal of testing myself. I am able to unlock my iPhone 5 running ORGASM in 17.5 seconds. The best a beta tester has done is 58 seconds.
    2013-03-27 03:38 AM
  11. Bo Troxell's Avatar
    May be a bit too kinky for me...penis', vagina's....................eewwwwwwww



    lol
    2013-03-27 03:41 AM
  12. 2k1's Avatar
    I haven't been actively seeking beta testers online as I require a waiver to be signed. All beta testing must be documented on video. So it's easier for me to gather my beta testers from my workplace, surrounding colleges and circle of friends. I've also done a great deal of testing myself. I am able to unlock my iPhone 5 running ORGASM in 17.5 seconds. The best a beta tester has done is 58 seconds.
    I will send a video to you then see what ya think.
    2013-03-27 03:49 AM
  13. Bo Troxell's Avatar
    I am able to unlock my iPhone 5 running ORGASM in 17.5 seconds. The best a beta tester has done is 58 seconds.
    Soooooooo, what your sayin' is "size matters...or your just quick"?

    What a fun thread.
    2013-03-27 03:52 AM
  14. TeamEdward's Avatar
    Soooooooo, what your sayin' is "size matters...or your just quick"?

    What a fun thread.
    The key with the penile DNA reader is to think about it as a simply an unlocking function rather than a sex act. I've performed 1000s of unlocks during my own beta testing. I hardly even think about it anymore. Using my penile reader is as standard to me now as your password unlock. Whether I'm on the bus, at a restaurant, at work, picking my kids up from school, or simply walking down the street, I can unlock my phone nearly effortlessly. And I have the added comfort of knowing that if I lose my phone NO ONE will be able to unlock it and access my information.
    2013-03-27 04:11 AM
  15. iGuahan's Avatar
    I was once tricked into believing that there was going to be a release of a jailbreak by DreamJB. Apparently it was a "social experiment". It took a while for me to recuperate from that. Now, I won't fall for it! I WILLLLLLLLLLLLL NOT!
    2013-03-27 05:07 AM
  16. BoyBastos's Avatar
    Happy APRIL FOOLS guys hehe
    2013-03-27 06:35 AM
  17. EVO's Avatar
    this thread makes me laugh
    2013-03-27 06:38 AM
  18. Pinoy's Avatar
    Vansmak written all over it.
    2013-03-27 07:30 AM
  19. rasputin007's Avatar
    OK, I am going to unlock

    yes .... yes ...... yes ... yes .... yes ....

    The best a beta tester has done is 58 seconds.
    Sheit, missed that call as well!

    Last edited by rasputin007; 2013-03-27 at 11:50 AM.
    Nothing is impossible only miracles take a bit longer!
    2013-03-27 11:46 AM
  20. 2k1's Avatar
    Lol good times
    2013-03-27 11:56 AM
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